The life as a child for Teagan
Urzendowski would change when she turned six years old. This is when
her paternal Aunt and Uncle would start abusing her. They would over
the next course of four years abuse her physically, mentally, and
sexually even raping her. DCFS came involved, but as in many cases
with no physical evidence they walked free.
Teagan would start at eight years old
self-injury and it would continue till she turned nineteen. She
would do it once or twice a week, and up to twice a day when she did.
It was her way to release her emotions and pain. Self-injury would
snap her out of the flashbacks. People would ask her what hurt, she
would just point to her new injury. She now realizes this is not the
coping skill she once thought it was.
She has attempted suicide four times,
hospitalized for mental illnesses over ten times both outpatient and
inpatient hospitalizations.
Teagan is diagnosed with PTSD (Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder) and Dissociative Identity Disorder both
related to the abuse. She as well diagnosed with Schizoaffective
Disorder Depressive type, which was triggered from the abuse. These
are controlled on Paxil, Prazosin, and Risperdal, as she is seeing a
psychologist. At times they do EMDR ( Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to help reprocess a memory, to
keep her from bringing out negative thoughts. It has been a long
process getting her on the right medication for her, trying many
different types.
I asked her who supported her through
all of this. She stated, “I have a lot of support from friends,
family, and my dog. I just recently started opening up with my family
about all that happened, but they have always been there for me every
step of the way.”
When we got to speaking on inspiration
and who inspired her, her response made me very happy to hear. “The
first person who inspired me was myself simply because I was too
stubborn to let them win. When I first attempted suicide it was my
best friend who pulled me back from the car I ran in front of. She
saw something in me that I couldn't see and since then has been a
huge source of support. Also, my family inspires me. After all we've
been through together they don't give up so they help me realize I
can't give up either,” she stated. This would show me that the
blame is not of herself, like many survivors do and has to learn it
wasn't their fault.
Teagan did not let this abuse and her
diagnosis' stop her. She started attending University of St. Francis
and living in a dorm, working towards Associates Degree in Human
Services. However, it ended up not being a good place for her. She
didn't let that stop her though. She would go to finish her
associates at Argosy University. November 11, 2012 she completed her
Bachelor's Degree in Psychology. She is determined to be disabled as
of right now. This does not stop her from using her degree helping
others. She states,”Helping others is all I want to do with life,
even if not getting paid for it.”
I asked her what she would like to tell
other survivors. “The main thing I would like to tell other
survivors is to never give up and dream big. Nothing is impossible in
life. Success to me isn't measured by achieving alone, it also
includes all the times you were pushed down, got back up, and tried
again. Never stop trying!”
I first met Teagan on Myspace when she
was having a very hard time in her life. I then would start a chat
blog where she would soon start blogging about her feelings. We
watched her change right before our eyes in this blog. I then got
the honor of meeting her in person at a Child Abuse Rally and Vigil
in Chicago we was hosting. I would then get to meet her again at
another event. For a period she was a member of Baby James
Foundation, a group I started for children of abuse and their
families. I hope at some point she is able to join us again. She is
one remarkable lady that has went through a lot not letting it stop
her. I want to close with a song that makes me think of Teagan,
because she never let anything stop her.
