Friday, March 21, 2014

Survivor: A Journey Through My Never Ending Nightmare - Domestic Abuse Survivor, Angela Caito




When Angela met her now ex he was what every woman would dream of. A sweet, nice man who daily would surprise with gifts and flowers. She had never treated this way by anyone before.

They had been together for quite sometime, and expecting a baby in only a few weeks. It was as if he just snapped for no reason, when he attacked Angela. This was the start of a different man, that day she was punched several times and raped. She never expected this at all, in fact they hadn't even argued.

For the next five years things just continued. He continued to rape her, held guns to her head, tied her to trees, locked in a dog cage that he buried in the ground for almost a week, doused her with gas then tossing a lit matches at her while having her duct taped into a sheet, and stabbed her with tools. These were just some of his actions over this course of five years.

Angela would start her plan on escaping that took several years to do. This wasn't an easy task of just walking away. She knew if she let him even get a hint what she was planning her, her son or both would be dead now. She confided in a friend, found a safe place to stay, and a car to get her there. In time she made the escape safely for both her and her son.

He never physically hurt her son, however if affected her son mentally. When her son was three years old, he would cuss her out and get very upset. You would of never thought of a three year old boy saying any of those words. He was learning from the actions of his dad. Angela says, "Those things stick with kids, no matter how much you try to make them go away. It took a long time to be able to get my son to stop saying some of the things that he had always heard."

Angela is now diagnosed with PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) and Agoraphobia. After almost nine years she still has nightmares. Unless she absolutely has to she doesn't leave the house, seldom leaving at night at all. Sleeping is very hard for her, as she suffers from insomnia. Her anxiety attacks, which started twelve years ago when she was still with him, will get pretty bad able to now make them go away on her own.

When Angela is asked how she was different from the abuse, "Before this happened to me..I was a pretty trusting person. I always assumed that people were good until they proved me wrong. After this happened though..I assume that people are bad and it takes a long time before I will trust them at all. I don’t open up to people now like I used to before I met him. I also know now what women, as well as men, who are in abusive relationships go through. I understand their fears now and why they quite often don’t leave even when others feel that they should get away. I know just how difficult it really can be."

She has since written a book to share her story. She wanted to try to help herself bring closure to her past, as help others see abuse does not go away. That it isn't always so easy to get away, and sometimes it's difficult to start over with nothing. To show that all that matters is saving your life and your child's is all that matters.

Her book Survivor-A Journey Through My Never Ending Nightmare can be found at any of the following.

"I just hope that if anyone hears my story and what happened to me that they will realize that no matter how many times they pray, or beg, or try to convince the abuser that they love them that abusers don’t change!! Well, they do change, but not in good ways at all. They get worse over time. No one is worth hurting for. No one is worth risking dying for. Being in an abusive relationship is deadly. It isn’t love when the one you’re with is hurting you. Whether they’re beating you or calling you names or controlling you in any way..THAT is not love and I just hope that there will be even one person who will wake up and will get away if they’re being abused," stated Angela.

11 comments:

  1. My heart and soul go out to you. We are never really healed as victims. Your story was hard to read. It was hurtful to know you had to endure this and your son see it happening. My prayers are with you... No women.should ever have to go through this form of abuse. Shame on this man that was suppose to show you love trust and respect. :(

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    1. Thank You so much Glenda, it is quite sad how many woman goes through domestic abuse.

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  2. Thanks you so much for sharing my story Renee. If what I went through could even reach one person and let them know that they can get out of an abusive relationship and will be just fine if they do, then everything that I do will matter. No one should ever have to live with someone who abuses them whether they are a woman or a man..and if they're with someone who is abusing them in any way at all..I hope that they will get away before it is too late.

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    1. You are welcome Missy and Thank You for letting me. You said it so well, that is all we can hope and pray for. Thank You for sharing your story and writing your book for so many.

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  3. What an awful story!! I can't imagine anyone going through that!! She is a brave women to escape and share her story! I'm sure it will help inspire and heal many people!

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    1. Very brave woman indeed. I am so glad she shared it as well. I am sure it will help her and others.

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  4. This sounds like an interesting read. It would have been difficult staying in her situation until she was able to leave. What an inspiring story.

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  5. This is a powerful yet sad story. Domestic abuse is a subject that no one should shy away from, and everyone should speak up and act on. TY for sharing your story.

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  6. Thank You Eliz for the comment. You are so right everyone should speak up on. I am so glad Angela had the courage to share her story.

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  7. So sorry you had to go through that!

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